Steph0u12's Journals

Dear William Beckett:

Thank you for holding my hand, and only mine, while everyone was tearing your arm away.
It was an out of body experience.
Our time is almost, our time is almost here.

While you squeezed my hand, I rubbed the back of yours, while you sang, I sang along. I pushed back tears, I never cry in front of people. I felt special, how tiny the chance was that you took MY hand. How I was desperately trying to touch you but never succeeded, you took my hand.
I hadn't expected this. No, definitely not. I had just wanted to touch you arm, just for a second.
When you took my hand, while you were holding it, I was hearing my heart thrumming in my ears. I could not believe it.

If I had known, that morning, when I woke up.
If I had known.

VANS WARPED TOUR 20 JULY 2008.

So I woke up at like 5h00 in the morning because I was really nervous. I couldnâ�™t quite grasp why I was but I had this constant feeling in my stomach, and I left my bed at 6h05. I had set my alarm for 6h15 but as I had expected, it was of no use.

I left my house and went to the subway. I met Alexandra there and we went at the Jean-Drapeau Park. Nervousness. There was a pretty big line, but I was glad we had chosen to come early. Some people werenâ�™t able to get into the park before 1h30. So we get in at 11h15. I buy a schedule and map (since Iâ�™ve never been to warped tour, it was very useful). Oh, The Academy Isâ�¦ are playing at 11h30, HURRY UP!

We get to the stage, there are not much people, and Iâ�™m in the second row. So The Academy Isâ�¦ arrive on the stage, Iâ�™m really exited. They start playing (I donâ�™t remember what songâ�¦ Attention, maybe. I donâ�™t know.) and I sing along and scream. Mike looks at me then smiles. Sisky is wearing that pink shirt and heâ�™s looking good. So yeah, the show goes on, but William never looks at me. He talks about how the last show in Montreal was cancelled and that theyâ�™re happy to be here right now and all. Then in the middle of a song, Andrew from Jackâ�™s Mannequin comes and sings:

Then he introduces the new song â�œAbout A Girlâ� and Iâ�™m like all happy. So they start playing it and then, miraculously, William looks at me while I scream and he smiles and makes a face like that:

Exept that he sticked his tongue out. So Iâ�™m like HAAA WILLIAM LOOKED AT ME! And Iâ�™m suuuper happy. Then a few seconds after, he looks at me again and notices that I know the lyrics so heâ�™s all happy and he smiles at me. I canâ�™t describe how I felt at that moment. William. I love you. Haha. The Travis from We The Kings comes to sing the end of â�œAbout A Girlâ� and Iâ�™m in heaven.

Then they play â�œWeâ�™ve got a big mess on our handsâ� and everyone freaks out. Then they leave the stage and Iâ�™m all gross. We start to walk away but then we see Sisky at the side of the stage so I run there and ask him to sign my shirt. So I turn around so he can sign in my back but I donâ�™t push my hair aside. So all shy-like he pushes a few strands away so I say â�œOh, sorryâ� and push it all aside so he signs. Then heâ�™s all â�œIâ�™m sorry guys, we have to catch a flight!â� I wondered why they were going back to Chicago for 2 days. It was odd to me. But I found out that they were going to shoot a video. Still, I was sad that they left and I didnâ�™t get to meet all of them. But still, Sisky is a big thing. So before he leaves I convince him to take a picture with me.

Then he leaves but just before I yell â�œI love you!â� and he turns around and blows me a kiss.

Gym Class Heroes:

I sure didnâ�™t expect their set to be so intense. But damn, intense it was. I loooove Travis facial expressions. Hilarious. At one point, someone gave him a Guitar Hero thing and they suddenly started playing this heavy metal song and everyone started trashing and it was diabolic.

I didnâ�™t know Travis was able to scream like that. It was amazing. It was like all the set are catchy rap songs and then thereâ�™s this metal-screamo song. It was crazy. After that we run to Cobra Starship because they started 2 minutes before Gym Class finished their set. So I wasnâ�™t very near.

At 4h30, Gym Class did a signing thing and I got all of their autographs.

Cobra Starship:

They were amazing, as they always are on stage. â�œI know girls want to shake what their mommas gaveâ�™emâ� They start to play â�œSmile for the papparazzisâ� and everybody dances and itâ�™s great. They sing â�œHollaback boyâ� and I love it whenever they sing it. Then Gabe says (Aw heâ�™s such a softie) â�œThank you guys, for understanding us. Thanks especially to the fans thatâ�™ve been following us for the last 3 years, itâ�™s because of you weâ�™re here today! And thanks for understanding us, for understanding that we donâ�™t give a fuck about anything exeptâ�¦ Being your guilty pleasure.â� Then he smiles and everyone starts cheering. And they start Guilty pleasure and people that know it, do the â�œGuilty Pleasureâ� dance and theyâ�™re happy. They sang â�œSnakes on a planeâ�, too but William wasnâ�™t there, but Travis came to sing his part. It was great. Afterwards, I go to the side of the stage and there are lots of people there too and Gabe is there. I try to ask him to take a picture with me but he has to go (dang, them too?) but he has to leave but just before he takes my hand and squeezes it then let go and leave.

We The Kings:

I love these guys. Theyâ�™re so nice. They had a signing thing before their show (since the show was actually at 6h45â�¦) and Hunter did this Dunk Tank thing and it was hilarious. Travis and Danny were playing with a water gun.

I also got this little video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A1hwjvYlGU

At the signing, I told Hunter that I had already bought their CD before Warped and he looked really happy about it and smiled and literally shouted: â�œYEAH! AWESOOOOME!â� and gave me a high-five.
Their set was wonderful. The crowd was huuuuuuge. And everyone knew the lyrics. â�œIt is our second time here in Canada. Who already saw us once?â� Literally everyone shouts. Haha. â�œHey Travis, I just saw this really sexy Canadian girlâ�¦â� The crowd screams. I even heard a girl scream â�œTRAVIS MAKE MY CHILD!â� Haha. Pretty crazy fangirls, actually. â�œGirls in Montreal are SEXY! I donâ�™t know, in America itâ�™s not so bad but dang here every girl is HOT! In America, sometimes, girls smell, but you girls donâ�™t smell bad at all!â� HAHAHAHAHA. I was like mmmhhhkaaayyy thanks, Travâ�¦

Go to the â�œMy Showsâ� gallery for all the pictures, there a couple very good ones. Ah, this day was wonderful.

Guess The Lyrics

Hola, I was tagged by williamxo. So, you probably know the thing, you have to guess what song I wrote down. I'll write the first sentence or so of every song.

1. Freezin, rests his head on a pillow made of concrete,again.
2. Let me know that I've done wrong, when I've know this all along.
3. I got no regret right now (I'm feeling this)
4. A cloud hangs over, it's a city by the sea.
5. There's a part of me you'll never know, the only thing I'll never show
6. Too alarming now to talk about. Take your pictures down and shake it out.
7. Today's the Macy's Day Parade.
8. ItÂ´s funny how weÂ´ve seem to make it, funny how we can even walk up straight.
9. Picture yourself in a boat on a river.
10. Soft light, total silence, so tired to take the table near the door.

Whew. Pretty easy.

___
Woah, one of my pictures has been featured. :|

Â« And Now I Let My Dreams Consume Me Â» 7 (FINALLY!)

So, a few people requested that I continued this Paramore fanfiction, and I know how frustrating it is for you to wait for me to continue.
This isn't a complete chapter but I was stuck and I thought "Well, why not give them a small sneak peek at what it'll be?" so here it is.
-------------------------------
Suddenly, he brutally broke the kiss, leaving a tingling feeling on my lips. I let my mind enjoy the thought of the kiss I had just experienced.

Josh: Iâ�¦ Iâ�™m sorry, I shouldnâ�™t- Iâ�¦
Hayley: What?

I opened my eyes. Joshâ�™s eyes were wearing a confusing mix of guilt, fear and regret. What had I done wrong? The water suddenly felt uncomfortably cold against my body.

Josh: Hayley, Iâ�¦ I canâ�™tâ�¦

Then it hit me. Josh was my best friend. It didnâ�™t even occur to me that maybe he might not want me that way. Even worse, did I want him that way? But the kiss felt so rightâ�¦
He pulled me out of the water, keeping muttering how sorry he was and how he shouldnâ�™t have done it.
I fought the tears that were threatening to spill and looked away. Guilt, fear and regret...

Josh: I... Look, let's just pretend this never happened, okay? I'm really sorry, that was stupid of me.
Hayley: Why do you keep apologizing, Josh?
Josh: I don't know, I'm...

He was talking so quickly. He furrowed his brows and hit his head. I would've laughed if the situation wasn't so serious, and if my throat wasn't so tight and dry. This is ridiculous...

Woah. What's the matter, people? Vous Ãªtes tous fous!

Hello. So I came back from a five days trip and when I come back, I have 80 new friend requests!
Is there any special reason or was it just people that add other people to have more friends?
Please, please tell me if it's because you are reading my fanfictions or whatever but I'm afraid I won't add you back if you don't even comment or drop a note.
I just don't get the sudden burst in the number of people adding me...

By the way, I'm really sorry, I know my updates aren't really frequent but sometimes the inspiration just isn't there and I don't want to give you cheap chapters.
I might continue the Paramore fic. Who would appreciate it?

Gah, Hayley has a septum piercing. I'm kind of suprised... I'll get used to it.

~| Maybe I Should Blindly Throw My Faith |~ 25

Warning: Alcohol Use

Beer in hand, William came from behind me and whispered in my ear.

William: So, what did Gabby want to know?

I jumped and giggled. Yes, much to my dismay, I was the kind of person that got drunk very easily. At that point, after half a beer ( I didnâ�™t drink it all because I think it doesnâ�™t taste really good) and half another sort of drink( I donâ�™t know what it was, but it tasted way better), I wasnâ�™t exactly drunk, but, kind of tipsy.
I turned around to face him.

Steph: Just about what happened in Montrealâ�¦

Music was blaring in my ears and I had to shout my answer. I giggled loudly again and started dancing. William observed me with an amused look.

William: So, youâ�™re enjoying your first night back in Chicago?
Steph: Yes! Oooh, I love that song!

I continued to dance and drank a sip of my drink. When I swallowed, it didnâ�™t taste wonderful, but afterwards, a nice feeling of warmth flowed thru my chest.

Steph: Dance with me!

And with that, I took Williamâ�™s hand and pulled him closer to me. He immediately put an arm around my waist, and I soon realized that if he wouldnâ�™t have, I wouldâ�™ve fallen backwards. He grinned.

William: Wooâ�¦ The night only began and youâ�™re already drunk.
Steph: No, Iâ�™m not drunk!
William: How many drinks did you have?
Steph: No, just dance!

I saw The Butcher coming nearer to us.

William: Hey, Butcher!
The Butcher: Oh, hey William!
William: How many drinks did she have?

The Butcher glanced rapidly over me and amusement was clear in his voice.

The Butcher: Not much. Iâ�™d say the equivalent of a beer and a half.
William: But look at her!
The Butcher: Hey man, donâ�™t complain about it! Sheâ�™s having fun!
Steph: Yeaaah, Butcher! Give me fiiiiiive!

He laughed and â�œgave me fiveâ�, but didnâ�™t let go of my hand. Instead, he made me spin around, then back to facing him again and took my other hand, as if we were about to dance the tango or something like that. It was so funny, I exploded in laughter.

The Butcher: Alright, Stephanie, can I count on you to make William have a great time?

I nodded. He winked at me and walked away. I took both of Williamâ�™s hands and put them over my shoulders.

Steph: Now, stop worrying about me! You heard The Butcher? Dance, now!
Gabby: STEPH! HEHE! COME HERE, STEPHANIE!
Steph: Noooo!

Without warning, William swung me into his arms bridal style. It felt so good being so close to his body. I put my both hands and my head against his chest, closing my eyes and trying to hear the beat of his heart. To my surprise, even thru the loud music, I could hear his heart beating at an incredible pace. I smiled to myself and slid my hands slowly on his back, so I could be even closer to him. I heard him chuckle.

William: Comfy, there?
Steph: I like being close to you. Why wonâ�™t you dance with me?

He lowered his head even more, so that his hair was tickling my cheeks.

William: Later tonight, weâ�™ll dance. I promise.
Steph: Mmm. Thank you!

Suddenly, just as I was enjoying the closeness of his face to mine, he set me down on his lap, sitting on the couch. Looking at my surroundings, I saw Gabby, whom was sitting on Siskyâ�™s lap.

Gabby: Are you having fun?
Steph: Yes, yes! Why does everyone keep asking me that! Iâ�™m doing wonderful!

She looked up at me. Suddenly, her gaze was fixed on the top of my head.

Steph: What?

I reached my head, touching my hairâ�¦ There was nothing.

Gabby: Okay, your hair is a mess! What did you do? Come to the bathroom with me.

She stood up and led me to the bathroom. She turned on the light and I blinked a couple times before looking at myself in the mirror.

Steph: Whatâ�™s the problem?
Gabby: ANDIII???
Steph: What is it???
Gabby: Your hair!

Okayâ�¦ Well they werenâ�™t THAT bad. Andi entered the room, clearly drunk. She was tripping over everything and giggling uncontrollably. I wondered if that was what I looked like. Without any other statement, Gabby pointed at my hair.

Gabby: Fix that.
Andi: Ooookay.

She drank a huge sip of her beer and put it down on the table, then started to brush my hair. Looking at the reflection in the mirror, I studied Andiâ�™s expression while she was doing God-knows-what with my hair. She didnâ�™t look drunk at all now; she had a serious concentrated look on her face. Somewhat, I found that intimidating and stopped moving and talking. When she was finished, my mouth formed an â�œoâ� of surprise.

Steph: Wowwww!
Andi: All done, hun! Now, come with me!

I followed her and after 2 or 3 stumbles, we made it to the kitchen. There was Mike Carden, Micheal Guy Chislett and Jack. In another corner of the room, I saw Gabby and Sisky making out passionately. Andi led me to the 3 guys, instantly taking the bottle of beer from Mikeâ�™s hand and swallowing its content. He chuckled and simply took 2 other ones, tentatively offering one to me. I smiled widely at his thought and took it, thanking him. I tried to open in but failed miserably. They all burst in laughter and I could feel the heat rushing to my face. Micheal took it from my hand and opened it easily. Still laughing he gave it back to me. I felt Andiâ�™s hand on my shoulder and heard her shout near my ear.

Andi: Is it okay if I let you alone with the guys? I have to talk to William.

I nodded and resumed my conversation with the guys as she exited the kitchen. We talked for about half an hour, me giggling most of the time. They were all extremely nice and easy to talk to. I thought Iâ�™d be intimidated to speak to them but, surprisingly, I wasnâ�™t shy at all. A small voice in the back of my head told me that the alcohol was probably one of the main reasons of my sudden ability to easily start a conversation. I had already drank all my beer and quickly took another one before heading for the lounge, looking for William. On my way out of the kitchen, I noticed Gabby and Sisky werenâ�™t in the corner anymoreâ�¦
Then, I saw them. No, it wasnâ�™t Gabby and Sisky. It was William and Andi. Seeing them standing close in front of each other, him laughing and her talking and smiling, made me come to a realization. It hit me as if I would have received a rock in the face. I hadnâ�™t considered the possibility ofâ�¦ Andi and Williamâ�¦ Maybe togetherâ�¦ Because, I mean, she was just introduced as â�œAndiâ�, not â�œAndi, Williamâ�™s girlfriendâ�, but it still could be a possibility. No, no he wouldnâ�™tâ�¦ I mean, he hugs me all the time and I remember as if it happened an instant ago our moment in the hotel room. He wouldnâ�™t do that if he was in a relationship with someone elseâ�¦ Would he?
My mind was struggling to find a concrete answer as I just stood in front of the kitchen door, frozen in my movements, staring at them.
Suddenly, as I was studying Williamâ�™s face, his gaze met mine.
And I, idiot like I was and being caught while staring, made a complete fool of myself.
I turned around and left the room, literally running on my way out. Here I was, back in the kitchen, leaned against the wall and breathing deeply.

Mike: Hey, Stephanie, are you alright?
Steph: Please, please, call me Steph.
Mike: Oh okay, yeah, but are you â�“
Steph: Yes, yes, Iâ�™m alrightâ�¦ Could you give me another beer please?

I tried to smile to make me sound more convincing but I think I failed miserably. My voice was shaky. He smiled back and went to give me another drink just as I saw William enter the room, too. He looked at me, then smiled, then walked up to me. I hope he didnâ�™t notice, I hope he didnâ�™t noticeâ�¦ He was clearly a little tipsier than an hour ago.

Steph: H-hey William!
William: Steph! Are you still having fun?
Steph: Yep!
William: You remember, I promised you Iâ�™d dance with youâ�¦

Just then, Mike came back with my drink. I noticed he had already opened it.

Mike: I knew you couldnâ�™t open it yourself so I did.

I laughed. The first thing Mike Carden will have ever known about me was that I canâ�™t open a beer bottle by myself. Nice.

Steph: Thank you!

I felt a jolt of electricity in my hand as William grabbed it and led me back into his lounge. And as he promised me, we dancedâ�¦ very closely. Itâ�™s crazy how alcohol can make you be confident. But as I mentioned earlier, I loved being close to William.
As the night passed, I talked to everybody. I didnâ�™t find Gabby, but didnâ�™t really worry about herâ�¦ She was with Sisky, and I didnâ�™t need any other clue. I avoided Andi, because I knew that she, in spite of William, hadnâ�™t been oblivious to my earlier reaction. I spent most of my night with The Butcher, who was incredibly easy to talk to. He seemed to think I was extremely funny. Oh, so many things I was going to be embarrassed about in the morning. But for the moment, I didnâ�™t care.
But, eventually, I became tired and bumped into somebody who took me into his arms. As I looked up, I realized it was William. Ha, always there to take care of me. He chuckled slightly and I realized that I had said that out loud.
I was soon back up on my feet, even though Will was keeping his hands on my shoulders to keep me standing. I barely noticed we were in his room.

Steph: What are you doing?

He didnâ�™t answer at first and the darkness kept me from reading his expression. I leaned against him, wanting to feel his chest against mine again. I sighed. His hands slid down until the small of my back, gently securing me in his arms.

William: You need to sleep, now.
Steph: Williamâ�¦

I searched for his mouth, kissing my way up his throat, his chinâ�¦ I wanted to kiss him so bad it hurt me. But not nearly as much as when he firmly pulled me away before I could reach his lips.

William: Stephanie, donâ�™tâ�¦
Steph: Butâ�¦

A silent sob escaped my lips. Oh no, I wasnâ�™t going to cry? He pulled me against him at once, gently stroking my back. He whispered.

William: No, no, donâ�™t cry, please.
Steph: B-butâ�¦ why?

He didnâ�™t answer. I tried to move away from his embrace but his arms held me tightly against his body. After a minute, he kissed my forehead and led me to his bed, where he gently lay me down. I expected him to leave, but he lay down next to me. He turned me around and slid his arms around my waist.

William: Goodnight, loveâ�¦

As he nestled his face in my hair, I hovered his arm with my own. As soon as I closed my eyes, I fell asleep.

___________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed this extra long chapter!!!
I struggled a lot with it.
Well, this is it... Tell me what you think about it please!

~| Maybe I Should Blindly Throw My Faith |~ 24

How I hate meeting people that have already heard about me. It makes it so much more awkward, as if it werenâ�™t anyhow. I stepped out of Williamâ�™s room and scanned the room.
To the left, I saw Sisky and Mike Carden, whom were now staring at me intently. Sisky was wearing a smile, directed to me, as if to greet me. Mike was, well, just staring, waiting for someone to introduce me, I suppose. Then, to their right I saw The Butcher playing with the zipper of his hoodie, and farther to the right was standing Micheal Guy Chislett, talking with Jack â�œThe Camera Guyâ�.
It felt so amazingly great to see them all, for real. And still so weird. I felt so out of place here, but still was extremely happy to be.

Gabby: Alright, alright, here she is, Stephanie Paris!

I suddenly took conscience of Gabby standing beside me and putting one arm around my shoulders. I front of us was standing a brown-haired girl. I studied her more carefully: she was approximately the same height as me and we had the same thin-like shape, except she had beautiful green eyes. Her tone was slightly pale, as Gabby.

Andi: Hello, Iâ�™m Andra, but please call me Andi!

I smiled shyly, whispering a low â�œhiâ� and shook the hand she offered me.
Then, I heard a loud â�œAaaaaah!â�, and then, Andy Mrotek was standing in front of me, pushing gently Andi and taking her place.

The Butcher: I believe I was supposed to meet you, before you got busted.

I fake winced at the thought and smiled, shaking his hand too. Aaaah.

Steph: Itâ�™s nice to finally meet you.

Gabby giggled suddenly.

Andi: Hello?? Is there any reason for this unstoppable giggle?
Gabby: Tonight is going to be so much fun!

She then spoke again louder.

Gabby: Iâ�™m throwing a party right here right now.
William: What?

He had just entered the room.

Gabby: Do I need to repeat?
William: No, butâ�¦
Gabby: You donâ�™t want to party?
William: Yes, butâ�¦
Gabby: THEN LEEETâ�™S FREAKINâ�™ PARTAYYYYYYYY!

William rolled his eyes. It seemed that Gabby frequently took advantage of the fact that he had a big and nice apartment.

Sisky & The Butcher: WOOOOHOOO!

_________________________________________________
A filler one, to prepare you for some action :D
The next chapter will be.... great.
Comment please??? :D
So, meet Andi AKA Fingersxcrossed

~| Maybe I Should Blindly Throw My Faith |~ 23

William: Itâ�™s Gabby.
Steph: Let me take it, I want to know what kind of stupid excuse she poured out of her imagination.
William: Donâ�™t be too rough on her.

He smiled and handed me his cellphone.

Steph: Hello.
Gabby: Heyyyyy! Where are you?
Steph: Where are YOU?
Gabby: Actually, Iâ�¦humâ�¦ I asked first, now answer.
Steph: Iâ�™m at the hotel, because YOU didnâ�™t open the door when we arrived! Were you evenâ�¦
Gabby: Ooooooooh! So, how was it.
Steph: What?
Gabby: Donâ�™t play that game with meâ�¦ you know what I mean.
Steph: What do- Uh! No Gabby, no, no! You are such a perv!
Gabby: Aah, I know youâ�™re lying, but donâ�™t worry, Iâ�™ll spill the answer from you! Did you even sleep?
Steph: Well, of course, what would you expect we did! Okay, okay, forget that question. I donâ�™t wanna hear it. Justâ�¦ Now, answer! Where are you?
Gabby: Take a guess.
Steph: Gabby! I- I ! Just answer!
Gabby: You seem like a stressed woman, take it easy!
Steph: I KNOW you planned this, Gabby!
Gabby: Planned what?
Steph: Donâ�™t play the innocent!
Gabby: *giggle* I donâ�™t understand.
Steph: GABBY! Youâ�™re so stupid!
Gabby: Hahahaha! Youâ�™ll thank me for this later. Now come down here already! Iâ�™ve waited long enough!

I groaned. She won.

Steph: Okayâ�¦ Weâ�™re coming.
Gabby: See you soooooon!
Steph: Bye.

I glared at William, who was still smiling.

William: Youâ�™ve now met the evil and unstoppable version of our beloved Gabby.
Steph: She planned this!
William: I know, Steph, I know.
Steph: She wonâ�™t admit it!
William: Probably never will.
Steph: How can you stand this!
William: Iâ�™ve got used to it. I donâ�™t even try anymore.
Steph: You are my hero.
William: Haha. Youâ�™ll get used to it, too.

***

Gabby: STEPHANIIIIIIIIE!!!!

She literally jumped in my arms seconds after she opened the door. I was so surprised that I fell down on my back.

Steph: Oof!
Gabby: Oh, are you okay?
Steph: Yeah, Iâ�™m glad to see you too, Gabby.
Gabby: Ooohhh Steph, Iâ�™m so happy that youâ�™re finally back, the waiting was unbearable. Youâ�™re not mad at me, are you?

I looked up at William and he put his two thumbs up and mouthed â�œGood luckâ� before entering his apartment and greeting Sisky.

Steph: No, no, Iâ�™m not.
Gabby: Good, good, now come in, Iâ�™m sure thereâ�™s a lot you need to tell me!
Steph: And a lot you need to tell me.

We got up en entered. She immediately led me to Williamâ�™s room and locked us in it. She sat on the bed and I did the same.

Gabby: Why did you literally hang up when we called you?
Steph: Oh, Marie was on my front porch.

And I told her everything from there. She interrupted a couple times. Like when I told her that Mike came drunk she shouted a big loud â�œWHAT?â� or when I told her that my mom hit him with a pan on the head she winced and said â�œouch!â�. As I finished, someone knocked at the door and I hear a feminine voice shout.

? : GABBY, NOW GET HER OUT OF THERE, I WANT TO MEET HER!

________________________________________________________

Mmmm so who's that ???
Quite a filler. Next one'll be full of new people.

Cute Is What We Aim For and Powerspace, June 25th.
Warped Tour, July 20th
Metro Station, Boys Like Girls and The Maine, August 4th

Woohoo :D

~| Maybe I Should Blindly Throw My Faith |~ 22

I opened my eyes, slowly, enjoying every second of this awakening. I was finally back in Chicago. It hit me with such strength. I barely knew William Beckett and Gabby, but still, they had wanted me to come back. A wave of gratefulness overflowed me. I turned around to face William. He was still sleeping, and all I could do was watch him. And then I did something I wouldâ�™ve never done if I wouldâ�™ve been fully awake. I crawled closer to him and lowered my body so that my head could rest on his warm chest. My arms circled his body and I let myself be overflowed with the warmth of it, snuggling my head even closer to his chest. I breathed him in, closing my eyes to smell better. I could hear the regular beating of his heart; I could sense his chest moving to the rhythm of his breaths. It felt amazing. I traced circles with my thumbs on his back, feeling his warm skin through his thin shirt.
Suddenly, I felt his arms snake around my waist and pull me tight against him, while he exhaled. Having his arms around me made me feel even better. I bent my head up to see his eyes were still closed. Aw. He had put his arms around me in his sleep. I couldnâ�™t contain my smile as I snuggled my face in his chest again, sighing. I could stay like that until he woke up.
After a few minutes, I intertwined my legs with his; searching for as much warmness I could reach through his body.
I felt a sudden blush creep my face as his hands started rubbing on my back, he was clearly awake now. I couldnâ�™t contain it; a giggle escaped my lips. I felt him chuckle and he kissed the top of my head.

William: So I see youâ�™re taking advantage of me while Iâ�™m sleeping?

If it was possible, I became even redder. I push my head against his chest, hiding it.

Steph: Mhh-mm. What can I say? Youâ�™re too comfy.
William: Well, I must say it was a nice way to wake up.
Steph: Iâ�™m making up for the morning I awoke you from jumping on your bed.
William: Haha.

I didnâ�™t move and he continued to gently rub my back, going slowly down until the small of my back, and then going up ever so slowly to the nape of my neck, finishing by playing with my hair. I felt like I was about to melt. The way he touches me is taking me to the edges of my self-control. I shivered and felt him smile against my head. I wonder if I had the tiniest bit of the effect he had on me on him.

Steph: Thank you, William, for bringing me back here.
William: It was my pleasure, besides; I think Gabby is enjoying your company very much.
Steph: See, thatâ�™s what I love about you guys, you barely know me and still you make me feel as if I knew you since forever. You canâ�™t imagine how grateful I am. I owe you so much. You saved me.
William: We all need someone to save us sometimes, Steph, you owe me nothing.
Steph: Williamâ�¦ Thank you so much.

I held him tighter.

Steph: I have one question, though.
William: Haha, okay. Go for it.
Steph: How did you know I needed to be saved?
William: Well, I didnâ�™t notice immediately, at first, I mean, I was just giving you back your wallet, but-

I again mentally thanked heaven for making me drop my wallet.

William: â�¦ I donâ�™t know, you just seemed so sad. Only by the way you were sitting on that bench, facing the ground, head in your hands. And when you looked up at me, it was all clear. Your eyes. I canâ�™t exactly say I read through them, no, your eyes are unreadable, but your eyes had a certain expression in themâ�¦ Iâ�™m not sure. All I knew is that I should try to cheer you up a little.
Steph: Maybe you just saw the redness of my eyelids, due to a night of constant crying in the bus.
William: No, no. It was in your eyes. You have special eyes.
Steph: Theyâ�™re brown; nothing is special in brown coloured eyes.

Okay, exept for Williamâ�™s eyes.

William: No, Stephanie, itâ�™s not their colour.
Steph: What, my eyes are an open book on how I feel?
William: No, itâ�™s exactly the contrary.
Steph: Hummâ�¦ Okay. You mean they were empty?
William: No, no, even then, your eyes were full of life, itâ�™s justâ�¦ You have thisâ�¦ faculty to pierce through people with them. Youâ�™re not scared to stare right into peopleâ�™s eyes. And still, youâ�™re extremely shy. So to the others, they are unreachable. Itâ�™s like you keep them unreadable because youâ�™re afraid.
Steph: Afraid of what?
William: Of showing your feelings. Maybe itâ�™s because youâ�™re afraid of being hurt againâ�¦
Steph: â�¦

Maybe. People never told me about my eyes but it seemed so obvious to Williamâ�¦ He says he canâ�™t read through them but still, thatâ�™s exactly what he did!

Steph: I think youâ�™re mistaking.
William: What do you mean?
Steph: How can you say Iâ�™m unreadable after saying all that stuff?
William: I donâ�™t knowâ�¦ It was just a hypothesisâ�¦
Steph: Quite one, indeed. But what is slightly frightening, is that you are right. But I canâ�™t explain how you got it all right byâ�¦ You canâ�™t just have seen that through my eyes! And you say theyâ�™re unreadable, it doesnâ�™t make sense.
William: See? Thatâ�™s what I said about them. Theyâ�™re special. I donâ�™t know how to explain it. You can hide everything you want, but not the strongest feelings.
Steph: How can you do that?
William: What?
Steph: Analyse people in just one glimpse?
William: Haha, it didnâ�™t take me only one glimpse. I didnâ�™t understand at first, but the more time I spend with you, the more I seem to understand you better.
Steph: Aww William! Youâ�™re so cheesy!
William: Ahem! Excuse me!
Steph: But I love it.
William: Thatâ�™s better. Now come here.
Steph: Iâ�™m already as close as one can be of you William Beckett!
William: Aahh, Iâ�™m so glad youâ�™re back into my life Stephanie Paris!
Steph: And Iâ�™m glad you brought me back into itâ�¦

I crawled up and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled.

William: Are you blushing?
Steph: Thatâ�™s the first thing that pops into your mind when I kiss you!
William: Ohh, donâ�™t take me wrong, I love it when youâ�™re nervous.
Steph: Iâ�™m not!
William: You know you are.

He took me by the waist and lay me on top of him. He replaced a few strands of hair behind my ear and placed his arms around my shoulders, allowing mine to snake around his waist, as I happily lay my head back onto his chest, eager to hear his heartbeat again. He sighed contently and kissed the top of my head. The now familiar sensation of butterflies bursting in my stomach came instantly.

Steph: Okay, maybe I am a little.

William chuckled.

5 Songs that I fell in love witht he first time I heard them.

The title says it all.

1. Time is running out - Muse. Muse are amazing. I cannot describe my love for them.
2. Anyone else but you - Juno Soundtrack(I don't know the artist...) . It just so cute and innocent. It stucks in my head.
3. The fourht drink instinct - Cute is what we aim for. Amazing. The lyrics are so straight-forward and real. It's different.
4. Nothing to lose - Billy Talent. Humm.. Cried when I saw the video? Yeah. Since then, Me + Billy Talent = Loveeee.
5. All you need is love - The Beatles. Need I say more? This song makes me shiver, and when I first listened to it, I pretty much fell in love with its simplicity.

You??
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New chapter of TAI's fic coming soon!